I have not written in awhile, but do know that I have been thinking of you and your father. It has been a little rough for me lately, not able to focus. I am trying to sort through some things right now. I am amazed at how I am able to think god for our time. I am amazed at how I am looking forward to each day, but then I think about how you are not here. But I am thankful, thankful to have known you and thankful to have had you as my son. How I wish you were still here, but then again, who am I do wish that, when you are in the best place. You are among the glorious GOD! You are in a place where there is nothing but Love! Yes, I love you, but you are surrounded by love. Here there is so much hate and mistrust... people do not love freely. I want so much to hold you, but I know you are happy. I know if I close my eyes I can see you, I can smell you. I see you in your brother... . I miss you. BABY I miss you. I miss your father, I miss his silly ways. I wish he and you were still here. I sometimes think is this the plan? Was this the plan all along? I am lonely for my family, yet I am thankful to have known love from my son to have felt it, and I still feel it. I am thankful for the time your dad and I had. I just wish for more time. Time is something we as human's take for granted.. but not me, not anymore.. I cherish it.
MANY MANY MANY HUGS TO YOU & YOUR DAD... I love you both! MOMMYClose
Happy Birthday~ I miss you so much.. but I am really going to try and not be sad.. I am going to spend this day making you happy.... doing things that we would have done if you and your dad were still here... I love you both.. my arms ache to holdyou my son. But I do know you are happy.. you are very happy... in heaven.. wait for me.. I am coming one day home to you. Much love to you.
It has been another day...another day w/o you and your dad. ..how times fliess for me and your brothers and sisters. i look at the sky hoping to find answers...hoping that one day you will be there looking back at me...allowing me one more day.. I look at how people treat each other and wonder... if this is how god wants it to be..then i think nope... i listen to all who have problems in their marriages/families and then think.. how could you ... how could you argue with one another...for that maybe the last. Darryl I would give anything to have one more day with you and our children. I would love to see Darrius laughing at you and bryce being silly and Landon running down the field just for you hearing his voice yelling.. COLEMAN... going in for a TOUCH DOWN... I miss those happy days I miss the sad ones. I miss my family... I miss you Jarrett, I see you in Darrius .... he has become my baby.... you will be my baby in my heart forever... I miss your smell and I miss you... for just one more day if I coud have had that... today... what would I have done with it... I would hold you in my arms... just loving you...
Just wanted to say thank you to your and your dad for sitting on GODS knee.. I need all the help I can get. I am very blessed, but then again I knew that the day I had you~! .... :) I miss you and your dad somthing terrible. I love you both so much. I am going to ask one more thing from you. There is a mommy who needs GODS help, I am praying that she accepts the help. Please do all you can. Darryl pls send you hugs to night I need to feel it and send it to your boys. And most of all give Jarrett the biggest hugs of all from me! Please please visit me, as I have not felt you are him near in awhile. I love you both. Darrius misses you, bryce is lost without you. Emonee gets mad at me and wishes you were here as do I. Darrius's birthday party went well, but I missed you there. It hurts not to have you see them grow up, but I am sure you know it hurts me not to have Jarrett close to me.
time is going by all so fast. there is not a day where I do not think of you. missing you and your dad has become a way of life. you are in my thoughts everyday. i know you are in the safest place. i just wish you would visit, i want to hold you. i miss your smell. two years, wow i just can not believe it, all to unreal. why is always there... why. i look at people different now. what is important to them is not important to me. i am just blown away at how many things do not matter to me. i only want and need people who are positive around me, being down brings me down and i do not do well with that. i think of your dad everyday and wish how we had more time. i wish he would have had more time with the other kids, as darrius misses him so much. he was such a good father to all the kids. well jarrett, mommy is going to bed now but know that i love you so much and can not wait to see you again.
Hello, baby! How are you and your father?? Missing you and him has become apart of my everyday world. There is not a day that goes by that I do not think of you and him. I miss being held by him and I miss your smell. I miss you! The growing up..part.. oh Jarrett... what would you be doing now? How much trouble would you and Darrius be getting into. This was not how life is supposed to be, you are suppose to be here with me and your dad. Send me signs that you are still around, tell your dad to do the same. It has been so long since I have felt you and your father. You have only come once, pls come again. I know you are happy, but baby I need to feel you. For your father I need to feel him as well, I need him to visit our earthly children as well. Bryce misses him so much, it hurt him so. He needs a father in his life. Evi misses you as well. Landon is so lost right now w/o your dad and you. I wish I could tell you am handling things well, but I am not. I am hurting so much more than I like to say to people. I am going to though, stay positive. That helps so much. Please know how much i love you and your dad. I just wish for the way we were, and that is all together again.
Its been such along time since I visit this site. So let me start by apologizing.Though please do keep in mind theres not a day that goes by without you crossing my mind. I have been so busy and oh let me tell you senior year is crazy. There are so many things going on through my head that I just can't even sort them throughly. Emotions such as stress, depression, peer pressure, and some I can't even describe. Yet, when I think of you during the times of when I am over whelmed with my emotions, I feel simply at peace. Sometimes I do find myself thinking about Darryl too.
An its ironic how when you lose people that have affected your life in some way you can't help but remember the good times and not so much as the bad times. Though, I know that he is safe and happy with you, I can't help but feel that is all unfair. I know that when god calls you home you must heed his call, but I still can't help but feel that it was too soon. Ya know Jarrett, when you were born I kind of thought that it would bring the family closer on some kind of level but apparently it did the opposite affect and when you left it just seemed that everything just went down hill. I never felt so helpless being as I am the eldest child I feel that its my responsibilty to do something to make everything right but I can't...or more along the lines of I don't know how.
I have changed alot over the years though. However, I feel I have gain just as many weakness as there are strengths. An lately I've notice I am not as out going and positive as I use to be any more..but I like to say I am working on it and learning a little bit more about myself and why it is I act the way I do. I have even started to read some daily prayers at night and sometimes during the morning and it helps.
Well Jarrett, I thank you for listening to me and I promise to write back soon. So please hug and kiss all the loved ones that have passed and please you and Darryl watch over Mommy, Landon, Emonee, Bryce, and Darrius and smile apon them. Though times are rough and may even look like it won't get better I feel that it will soon someday. For, I am placing my worries, and everything in Gods hands and I feel that along with you guys he will see us through.
ok.. today was rough... missing you something terrible. wishing you and your day was here. it is so amazing how you realize how precious life is when you lose someone. i just wish you were still here. i am learning so much. learning who not to trust and who to trust since your father and you are gone. i am amazed at how one would use the loss and the pain that one goes through for their own gain. i would not do that to anyone, the pain is so great and i would not use anyone who is going through that for my own gain. i would do anything just to hold you again. i remember lossing you just like it was happening right now! i remember your dad laying on the floor and me giving him cpr and all the while in my mind i am screaming nooooooo.. i was doing ok till someone did something i could never do...oh jarrett it brought it all back. i would trade everything i have for just one more day. i miss you... i miss you smell i miss you growing up. i see the pain in your brother's eyes when they mention you and your dad.. how can i make that go away? what can i do? how can i help them. i realized just how much i loved you and i loved your dad, just wanted him to do well to stop doing the bad things. life can be so hard. you know today i was discusing with someone that if we/you had choice of coming back here would we. i would say no, people are not nice and they do not think of others feelings...the killings the way we treat each other no Jarrett i would not come back so i would understand your not wanting to come back. this is a sick world and i would not come back after being in heaven. to think of all the glory that is over there with god. how blessed you are to be there. how blessed i have been to have known you. thank thank you so much for all that you have brought to my world. i love you so much. missing you and your dad everyday... love always mom
wow and another year... oh.. baby ..I miss you so much. I think about you everyday. I wake up to your pictures. I miss your smell. I am doing ok this year...making great strides. Trying to stay up beat, but always my thoughts go right back to you. I think about the last day with you. I think about when you were on my lap the night before. I miss you baby. I see you in your brothers....and I wonder would you be driving me nuts as most 2yrs olds do? Thank you for allowing me to know you, thank you for picking me as your mom. Thank you for showing me how to live, with love in my heart. Thank you for showing me forgiveness. It is amazing how one special little baby could touch so many and teach so much. I am not going to let anyone forget you. Your brothers and sisters remember how excited we all were... wow you were born... and such a little boy.... such a handsome fellow... with long long feet. I remember the way you felt inside of me, I remember you coming out. Not really wanting too. I have a picture with you on my chest, how I love that picture... you were so little. MOMMY LOVES... YOU! Wishing you were here, but I do know that if given a choice to come back..naw...... you are so happy now full of love and peace....and now that daddy is there... the time you to must be having.... but pls pls baby Jarrett come and visit me... send me a sign... anything....l love you. Happy Birthday sweet Jarrett!
Gosh Jarrett, we are coming upon your 2nd birthday. how I miss you, how much things have changed. There is so much I question right now, our well being, our purpose of this life... why are we only here for awhile, some long some short. With your father being gone I feel so weighed down, missing what help he gave me, even if it was to give a ear. today i am gonna start a jornal finding that it may help me. I just wanted u to know that you are not forget and are on my mind everyday.
Beautiful Li'l Jarrett~(((((Tammy))-))) / Cathy ^Kennys^ Mom Dear Tammy, I read your words and I could "feel the hunger" you are going through to touch your precious beautiful angel ^Jarrett^ once again,I to know that "hunger",And Hon I can tell you We are both Starved... You will remain in my heart & prayers for a very long time... Your memorial to your son is Beautiful!!! Thank You so much for sharing your heart & soul. Love, Cathy ^Kenny^ & Buffys Mom http://kennybowenkeogh.memory-of.com/ http://memoriesofkenny.homestead.com/index.htmlClose
words from a song that i love and it makes me think of you / Tammy Blackmon (mommy)Read >>
words from a song that i love and it makes me think of you / Tammy Blackmon (mommy)
What Child is This? What Child is this, who, laid to rest On Mary's lap, is sleeping? Whom angels greet with anthems sweet, While shepherds watch are keeping? This, this is Christ the King, Whom shepherds guard and angels sing: Haste, haste to bring him laud, The Babe, the Son of Mary! So bring Him incense, gold, and myrrh, Come peasant king to own Him, The King of kings, salvation brings, Let loving hearts enthrone Him. Raise, raise the song on high, The Virgin sings her lullaby: Joy, joy, for Christ is born, The Babe, the Son of Mary
new year / Tammy Blackmon (MOMMY)
hello baby! another sleepless night. I am thinking about life and wondering why. I wish we could spend more time together. I look for signs from you. I wish we had more time together. I am also missing your dad. I wish I could see him, I wish he was with me now. I wish he could see his sons now. Everyone misses him, and you it is not the same. Everything is different now. I am not able to sleep now, I think too much. I just wish things were back to normal. ...the day you were here and your dad as well. I love you two.... just wish you were with me.
How are you ? What a question! You are fine...happy and at peace...you are sitting on god's knee. I miss you so much! Today was one of those days. I find myself forcing myself to try new things so that I will move on with life. I do miss you and your father. To Darryl...my husband....although we were apart when you died, I am so glad you were at home with the kids that weekend. I am thankful for all that you have done with our children, all of them. I can see more clearly now, now that you are gone. We wasted so much time,,,, so much when we were together. I loved your thurst for life, I admire how you did what you wanted to do, you did not care about anything just did what you wanted to do. You enjoyed your life. I am just so sorry that you and I did not appreciate each other enough. We do not realize that life is so short till someone dies. After our baby Jarrett died, I was so lost, I am bearly finding my way now....Jarrett knows how lost I have been, and then when you went....oh..I do not know...now I watch our children, and wish you were here to see them. You missed Christmas, Darrius had so much fun, but it was not the same w/o you. We missed you loud voice...and the laughter. I am not one to enjoy the kids ....you know get down on the floor and play, that was your job and you did that very well. Each person is different and you have taught me that I must except that we are all different. Jarrett baby, you have taught me to live as though there is no tomorrow, and to enjoy myself and my children. Enjoy being at home, just enjoy being home. There is no place to go, maybe church, but really there is no place to go. I have all that I need, not all that I want but all that I need. God has seen to that. I know you and your father are there in heaven together, I am thankful for that. I love all of my children, Evi, Landon, Emonee and Bryce.... lol... I know...he is a challenge....as you and your Dad can see...and Darrius....and you Jarrett! I have also learned that I must create my own peace. I will not have any negative thoughts or people around me. Landon is here, he is missing Darryl....me too. Well just wanted to drop you and your Dad a note...love to you both.
Hello my lil lover boy! How I miss you! It is another christmas without you. You never got to see one, your Brother Bryce just mentioned that the other night. But I know you are alieve and well and having a blast in heaven above. Your dad is with you, how I miss him too. All of the children miss him as well. Life is so short, you say live mom live...how can I without you? How can I go on? I am so tired.... mentally tired! Drained, I look at people and think how long do you have and how long do I have till I am with my son? Yes, I know I am still here for a reason....but what is that reason? What is it I am supposed to do, what is my purpose? What was yours and your fathere, what are we to learn from this life? How come life hurts so much? ?s....for the man above,..... ones i will not have answered till my day comes. But Jarrett baby you are in my heart forever... when someone mentions your names, my eyes get tears in them...my heart remembers the pain of lossing you.... my youngest child how I love you. How I miss you. Please hug your dad for me...whisper in his ear to visit his children here on earth. Tell him thank you for my visit....love to you both!
missing u so much! / Tammy Blackmon (mommy)Read >>
missing u so much! / Tammy Blackmon (mommy)
My little Lover...how I miss you. This will be our 2nd holiday apart! As I was walking into Kmart today, I heard the holiday music... I miss you more than ever! This will be the 1st holiday w/o your father....Jarrett...I am not excited about the holidays... i do not want to hear the music and I do not wanna go shopping. I miss you! I miss you I wanna scream I love my baby bring him back. But will that work? No, that will not work. That will not work at all. I think about your father, the person i did love and the person i took so much from, all in all Jarrett i find myself actually jealous that he is there, he is at peace with you playing in the fields of gold! I love you and I love him, I miss you both. I wish life had been different for us. I wish for so many things. Darrius misses your dad so much, Landon is missing him as well. They have so many questions that I can not answer, although I try. Our family has not been the same since 7/26/07....the day you left you took a part of me with you. Your dad took another part on 9/23/07....there is not much left...i am trying to create a new life for our family me and your brothers and sisters. Something you would be proud of and something your dad can say he understands.. How I wish for one more day just to say i know how you feel when it comes to Jarrett...i know.. he just missed you so much, but did not know how to tell me or you. well i will keep keeping on for your brothers and sister. Jarrett you will always have my love and so will your father. i am happy that he is at peace... hey my little lover ...come and see mommy in her dreams...let me hold you and play with you one more day...let me smell your sweet baby smell..... loving you always... mommy
Loving you and your dad. / Tammy Blackmon (Mommy)Read >>
Loving you and your dad. / Tammy Blackmon (Mommy)
Hey my Lil Lover,
Missing you so much. I am actually jealous of your dad being there w/ you! I know there is a plan, what plan I am not allowed to know. I want you to know how much I love you and I also loved your dad. I did not wish him any bad. I know he was in a lot of pain after you passed. I was and still am over your passing. Nothing is the same, after you I do not look at life the same. Tomorrow is not promised and watching that with you and your dad hurts to know that you are both are gone. Jarrett, my little little boy..when I say your name I smile, I know how happy you are now. Darrius sees your pictures and knows now that it is you. He is it is my little brother. I love that, and I love you and your dad. Just wish I could hold you.
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